Perfect
by Lostgirl-Freebird
Summary: Back story to the Rumours episode telling why she changed her mind about going on FF2.


Perfect

'Santana, rumour has it that you bat for the other team now, what do you have to say about this?' Jacob asked, shoving the mike in Santana's face, a small dorky boy following him with a hand held Video camera.

'If you know what's good for you Jewfro, you'll stay outta my way and shut your mouth!' she growled before pushing her way past him and storming down the hall towards her locker. She stopped by her locker, took a deep breath and placed her forehead against the cool beige metal and closed her eyes. This had been going on since the school newspaper had been released yesterday, and was a consequence of Brittany basically outing her on he web show. If Santana didn't love her so much, she'd probably go all Lima Heights on her for it, it's definitely what she'd do if it weren't Brittany who had caused the rumour to start. Santana had already yelled at her, and felt horrible for it, especially when Brittany admitted she didn't mean it the way it had come across. Santana felt someone touch her arm and turned instantly, ready to deck the person who'd dared to touch her, however her anger dissipated automatically when she clocked those beautiful blue eyes. She quickly noticed they were red and puffy, indicating that Brittany had been crying.

'Britts? What's wrong?' She asked concerned. Brittany never cried, she was always so happy, so anything that had caused her to cry must have been bad.

'Do you think I'm stupid Santana?' she asked, her bottom lip wobbling as she tried to contain another bought of tears from falling down her beautiful face.

'No Britt, I've never said you're stupid, why would you think that?' Santana asked concerned. She'd never told Brittany she was stupid, she didn't even think it. She knew that Brittany had some, well, 'blonde' moments sometimes, but Santana had known her since they were kids, and knew her beyond the 'stupid blonde' appearance she gave other people.

'Artie called me stupid' Brittany replied her voice cracking as a sob escaped her.

'He what!' Santana yelled angrily, causing Brittany to jump, more tears falling from her eyes. 'I'm sorry Britt-Britt' Santana apologised, pulling the blonde into a hug. 'You're not stupid ok? He doesn't know what he's talking about' she pulled back from Brittany and looked into her eyes. 'You are one of the smartest people I know. You speak so much truth, and some people don't see that.' she said genuinely, 'don't be sad Britts, he just doesn't understand you like I do' she finished, booping Brittany on the nose with her finger before pulling her into a one armed hug and leading her down the hall.

Santana was going through the Rumours album, desperately looking for a song that didn't completely suck. She hadn't been impressed with this assignment, she hardly even knew who Fleetwood Mac were, but she knew they were an old band, and probably something her parents would listen to. She sighed as she listened to the first verse of each song, each one less impressing than the last, when she came across one she actually knew. She never knew it was sung by Fleetwood Mac, and was actually rather surprised to find that she liked this version a lot. She let the song play through fully before putting it back to the start and letting it play again. As she listened to the words, images of Brittany flooded her mind and she felt her heart grow warm with love. She instantly knew that this was the song she should sing, but she wasn't going to sing it to everyone, only to Brittany. She needed her best friend to know how she felt about her, she needed to make a statement, and now was the perfect time.

She'd spent the entire afternoon practicing, enlisting the help of Brad to play the piano. She wasn't worried about him being there, she'd spent many days in the choir room, just singing, and Brad had caught her. He'd always give her a warm smile and join in on the piano, accompanying her, and he'd never mentioned it to anyone, so she didn't think he'd mention this to anyone either. She'd texted Brittany to meet her there after school, and as the minutes passed by, she felt herself getting increasingly nervous. Finally, Brittany turned up.

'Hey' she greeted, with a weak smile.

'Hey Britt-Britt, how you doing?' Santana asked her. Brittany walked over and leaned down on the piano, the smile dropping from her face.

'I'm so sad. A sad little panda' she said quietly as played with her fingers.

'Well that's why I brought you here. To cheer you up' Santana told her. She took Brittany's hand in hers and led her to a chair. 'I've been going through that Rumours album, and I found the best song that really goes one step past Landslide in expressing my feelings for you. My private feelings' she added, heading back to the piano as she took a deep breath to mentally prepare herself. She wasn't usually one for revealing her emotions and feelings, so this was hard for her, but she knew she had to do it. She wanted to do it. She let the gentle notes of the piano wash over her as she sang the opening lines. She could see the emotion in Brittany's eyes as she sang though the song, putting as much emotion into the words as she felt. She felt completely naked right now, singing about her feelings in front of the girl she loved, but she didn't care. She loved Brittany, and she wanted to tell her that. She sang the last line and heard Brad play the closing notes on the piano. She stood and watched Brittany silently, whilst she did the same back, Santana could tell that she didn't know what to say. Santana wiped a tear away from her eye and looked down, feeling slightly self conscious.

'Ok, why couldn't you sing that to me in front of everyone? Now that Artie and I aren't together.

'Brittany asked as she got up from her chair.

No not, not yet. I'm not ready for that type of…public announcement' Santana confessed, walking away from Brittany. 'Ever since that Muckraker thing, people have already started treating me differently' she said, turning to lean her back against the piano. 'I got asked to join the Golf Team' she stated.

'Well, what if I went first?' Brittany suggested, making her way to stand next to Santana. 'Come on Fondue for Two. I'll ask you out to prom, and…I'll tell you how I feel, and…all you have to do is say yes' she told Santana, a small smile appearing on her lips. Santana thought about it seriously for a second and agreed, nodding her head.

'Ok' she agreed and pulled Brittany in for a hug.

Santana spent her journey home going over what had just happened in the choir room, the whole Fondue for Two thing playing on her mind. She knew she had to do this. Brittany wouldn't wait for her forever, and Artie would eventually come crawling back, begging for Brittany's forgiveness. She had to do this for Brittany. She wanted Brittany to be proud of her, and so she decided to do the thing she'd been dreading most. She was going to tell her parents. She got out of her car and made her way into the house, nerves eating away at her insides.

'Mami? Papi?' she called as she placed her keys in her bag and made her way through the house.

'In here darling' her mom called from the kitchen. Santana swallowed hard before entering, placing her bag on the table. 'How are you mi hija?' Maria asked, looking up from the saucepan she was tending to.

'Um…good' Santana replied, nodding her head gently, 'where's Papi?' she asked, looking around the kitchen for any sign that he might be home.

'He's in the shower' Maria replied before bringing the wooden spoon up out of the saucepan and offering it to Santana to taste. She made her way over to her mom and placed her lips over the end of the spoon, slurping some of the soup off of it.

'Mmm, it's good' she hummed appreciatively.

'Good evening Santana, how good of you to grace us with your presence' Santana's dad said sarcastically as he entered the room. 'Where have you been?' he asked. Santana was confused by this question, she wasn't home much later than usual. She looked up at the clock to find that she was, in fact, an hour later than usual.

'Um, I was working on something for Glee club with Brittany' she told him, which wasn't exactly a lie.

'You spend too much time with that girl' he said in response, 'no wonder there are rumours about you' she grunted as he sat at the table.

'What's that supposed to mean?' Santana asked shocked. She could feel the anger build up inside her, her defence mechanism awaiting to be used.

'People are calling you a lesbiano!' he replied, his voice raised slightly. 'And I have to defend you! Say, 'don't be silly, Santana has had lots of boyfriends'' he added. Santana stood there in silence, clearly gob smacked by what her father had just said, and he could tell.

'Don't worry honey, I know mi niñita isn't strange like that, she is perfect, just like we raised her to be.' He said, giving her a warm smile. His attempt of reassurance only made Santana feel sick to the stomach. She nodded and made her way out of the kitchen, heading straight for he bedroom. Once there she closed the door and leaned her back against it, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was so ready to tell her parents everything, she was going to do it for Brittany, but how could she do it now after her father had told her how perfect she was. She'd grown up being told that anything less than perfect was unacceptable, and so she'd spent her whole life striving to achieve perfection in everything. She was pulling straight A's in school, she had made Head Cheerleader at one point, she'd had a solo in glee club, she had nothing but impeccable behaviour around her family and their friends, ensuring she was always polite, even when her grandmother asked her to give her a foot massage, she'd keep quiet, smile and do as she was told. In her parent's eyes, this made her the perfect daughter. She never told them that she had a reputation as the school bitch, and that she'd slept with over half of the football team, they had all remained secrets in the Lopez household. She knew her mother and father would never approve of the way she behaved at school, they would be ashamed of her, just like they would if she were to ever tell them she was in love with her best friend,. The same best friend that had been coming for sleepovers since they were 4 years old, the girl who had, over time, become another daughter to the two older Lopez's, and had therefore kept up the same pretence to be perfect, although admittedly, it was much easier for Brittany, she was naturally polite and well behaved. Not only would Santana's parents be ashamed of her, they'd also be ashamed of Brittany, ashamed that they'd ever let this girl into their house. They may even blame her for 'corrupting' their perfect daughter. Santana decided she couldn't put Brittany through that, and she couldn't lose the respect of her parents, not when she still depended on it so much. She whipped out her phone and sent a simple, 2 worded text to Brittany.

'I cant'

She slid down the door and placed her head in her hands, knowing Brittany would be heartbroken. She remembered the smile that was on Brittany's face when she agreed to go on the show, how happy she'd been, and she hated that she would have had that same smile upon her face until she read that text. She hated that she'd been the one to wipe that smile from Brittany's face. She hated that she'd been to much of a coward to tell her parents that she's not perfect, that she loves Brittany and that she'd fight to the death for her. She hated that her parents had drummed into her from such a young age, that perfection was the ultimate goal in life, and even more so, that she'd learned to live by that philosophy, and probably would do for the rest of her life.


End file.
